SPOILER ALERT - or should I say WHINER ALERT?

Okay, sorry, but today is probably going to be all whining. You know I live day to day with what amounts to the stomach flu. You know how you feel when your stomach is crampy and you have to go every 30 minutes to an hour? Well, that is my "normal". On top of that I have constant pain in my hips, feet, knees, shoulder. I can't stand for too long, I can't sit for too long. It is really frustrating. I won't even go into the lack of energy! I take this though. I, most days anyway, put on a happy face, laugh, joke, clean house, grocery shop, cart kids around and make the most of my not so full days. But some days it is too much. I get gripey, I get angry, I get sad, I get mad. I am TIRED of my body. I want to be in my kitchen right now taking the wallpaper off the walls. But what am I doing? I am sitting and squirming in my chair because yesterday I went to the bathroom too often and the hemorrhoids came back. Oh yes! On top of the "illnesses" I have, I also get to deal with the side effects of said illnesses!!!! Oh joy!! Lucky me!!! So I am sitting here wondering if after last night being off my feet if that was enough. Or should I tempt fate and try to get up and at least clean the kitchen because there was no way in hell I was doing that last night. Hell, I don't hardly remember last night I was in so much pain. Yea, my kid's first day in high school and I hardly remember the afternoon and evening because I was in bed or sitting on a sitz bath!!! Yea, me! I am sure I am up for Mommy of the Year!! Crohn's SUCKS! Ankylosing Sponidlytis SUCKS! Being ill SUCKS! I want a do-over!!!! I want it NOW!!!

Okay, enough, I probably went overboard here.....but it felt good. I feel a little lighter. Hopefully most of you read the alert at the top and skipped this post.

If you were brave enough to keep reading, thank you. Thank you for listening and knowing that sometimes a girl just has to vent.

Until next time,
Mrs. M

Time, Aging, Freedom

Missy starts high school today. Well, technically it is an orientation day, but it counts as a day of school. So we will all go together and learn more about the school and pay money. This means I am a mom of 2 high schoolers. This means I am officially middle aged. I am pondering that this morning as I lallygag and put off getting up and started on my day.

I remember looking at the parents for whom I babysat and thinking, wow, you are an adult. You are old. Now, I realize they were looking at me thinking, wow, I still feel your age, how did I get here? I have that feeling at times when dealing with my teenagers. I have to remember that even though I have been there, done that. They have not. This is all new to them. And it feels original, even though it SOOOO is not. I want to be understanding and not condescending. I want to be open. But sometimes I get so angry. I am not very patient with the adolescent behavior.

But back to me, for let's get real, this is really all about me. I feel like I am at an interesting place in my life. I can now see in the not so very far off future, a time when it is just me and Mr. M here at the house. I see a time with more freedom for us. I see a time when my days will truly be more about me. I will no longer have to schedule my "doings" around my kids' schedules. How exciting! I am beginning to think about how I will fill my days. What activities do I want to be engaged in? What things can I go ahead and begin now? Art lessons? Pottery lessons? Tutoring? Story time at the library? I am not sure. I hope to spend this year exploring possibilities. It is exciting. I no longer feel like I am in a holding pattern. This is Buddy's last year and honestly his schedule is the one that drives the family. When he is gone, Missy's schedule is much more laid back. I will actually be able to begin thinking about my days as MY days.

Of course, there is one obstacle. That is my health. But that has been an obstacle for over 25 years now. So...except of course, every year it gets worse. So......enough! Don't really want to go into that right now. I feel pretty good today. I want to enjoy that. I will deal with the other later today when the energy is all gone like around 2!!! Ha!!!

So it's Monday, a new day, a new week...what new things are going on in your life? What new things are in your horizon? Share!

Till next week,
Mrs. M

Blogging

I have noticed that many bloggers come and go with their blogs. Some write daily with such diligence, it embarrasses me. Some write 3-5 times a week with regularity. Others write VERY infrequently. I seem to go in seasons. When I get started writing, there is no stopping me. It consumes me. Everything I do, I consider, should I blog about this???? But when I stop...I STOP. I don't even think about it and I hardly even read my friends' blogs. I make a complete break. But...I miss it. I miss writing about my days. I think that one day...maybe my kids will get a kick out of reading my thoughts. Maybe not...but I enjoy writing. It fills my soul. So...here I go again.

I have signed up for Dishrag Tag again this year. This is the one knitting online communities I stay in touch with. I don't think I have missed one yet. I have met some very interesting people doing this. Some I'm still in touch with, others who have gone by the wayside. I look forward to what this year will bring. Stay tuned to see which pattern I choose and see the final product.

One distraction from blogging has been facebook. I have really enjoyed getting back in touch with many lost friends on this network. I have enjoyed being nutty and crazy with them. I have enjoyed exploring the preachers' wife role with them, I have enjoyed seeing how their lives have played out. I am inviting several to come visit me here. So watch out for some CRAZY comments.

I have also begun to explore art again. While in Asheville before the mother/daughter camp out, I went into an art store and invested in a good sketch book, pastels, a good pencil, some colored pencils and a sharpie! I have gotten such a kick out of drawing and coloring. Last night I simply drew with a black sharpie, several items of clothing and then colored them. It was amazing the high I got from that simple outlet of my creativity. Whew!!! Maybe I'll find a way to share those on here.

Okay, that was a pretty good start. I may try to catch everyone up later......or maybe not! You'll have to stay tuned to see.

Until next time,
Mrs. M

Faith

When I sit in my place of worship, I feel safe. Not always emotionally safe, as I am the preacher's wife and with that comes some vulnerability. But physically safe. I never worry about my safety or that of my kids. Yes, we have people of all walks of life in our building, but we are safe together. As I listened to NPR this morning, I heard a story of yet another mosque in Palestine being bombed. Fifty people are known to be dead at this time. It made me think about faith. During this Lenten season, we are remembering Jesus' walk during this time. He was heading toward his death and resurrection. He KNEW what was coming, or that is what the Bible says. But even if he didn't know with the certainty of omniscience, he had to know something was up. He was not the most popular person in his area. Yet he kept on. Jews and Muslims in the Middle East are at war with each other. Each time they enter their place of worship, they know they are targets because of their faith. Yet they keep going. I am wondering....if someone bombed a church in my city or state, would I keep going? Especially if it was not just one but two, three, fifty churches? Would I want my teens to in anyway "let on" to their faith preferences? Would I hide my faith? Would I keep going? Would you?

Swagbucks

Okay, I know, I haven't posted much except when I am promoting stuff. I am trying to work on that, but the body is not really helping me. I just started a new drug, so hopefully, my energy level will increase drastically in the next few weeks.

So on to the promotion. I have finally succumbed to the Internet pressure. I have read about swagbucks for some time. I am hesitant to join the bandwagon or add something new to what I already have to do everyday. BUT, this is different. You simply download the swagbucks toolbar and use it to do your searches. (you don't have to download the toolbar, but I find it helps me to remember to use it.) I have instructed my whole family to use it when using the computer (1 account per household). In 2 days I have earned 11 "bucks". Now, what do you do with these "bucks"? You save them up and then trade them in for gift cards to places like Amazon.com or Starbucks. So, if you are interested, please sign up by clicking on the link below. By signing up under me, you help me earn more points. Let me know in the comments if you have used swag bucks or if you sign up!!

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=407606

Thanks,
Mrs. M

Writing

I started a novel about a month ago. I have thought about doing this for a long time, but never put pen to paper so to speak. So this idea came into my head and I actually sat down and started writing. It was an amazing feeling. The words just poured out of my head, it was really thrilling. I could hear the main character speaking to me. (not like God or anything weird) She even made different choices as the story moved along than I had planned. Then it just stopped. No voices, no writing, no words. I want to blame it on the other "voices" in my head. Other priorities took prominence over the novel. I am seeking to find a way to write. I need quiet. I need order. I went to hear a author speak and she said she had writing pajamas. When she was in those pjs, it sent a signal to her brain that it was writing time. But how is that any different from any other time of the day for me??? Ha! Just kidding. I may try to go to the beach by myself and see if I can jumpstart the story again. I hear once you really get going, you just can't stop. We'll see...
Until next time,
Mrs. M

March

It is March. It is March and there is snow on the ground. Now, in the north, northeast, I realize that this is not such a big deal. In the south, this is BIG news! It was predicted we might get as much as 6 inches, but luckily it was more like 2 inches. It is pretty, I do love snow, but I had turned my attention to spring. My bulbs are sprouting, Forsythia is blooming and baseball starts this week. So, how can it snow????? Oh well. It did and here we are.

I have been busy clawing myself out of the doldrums for the past 3 weeks (probably why spring is sooo appealing). I have typed up daily chores. I have planned menus for the month. I have started a new plan for recording money and working on a new attitude for money. I feel I am being active and have thrown off the cloak of victim. I hope to keep it up!

Part of my new routine is to write more. So I hope to see you again here real soon,
Mrs. M