Swagbucks

Okay, I know, I haven't posted much except when I am promoting stuff. I am trying to work on that, but the body is not really helping me. I just started a new drug, so hopefully, my energy level will increase drastically in the next few weeks.

So on to the promotion. I have finally succumbed to the Internet pressure. I have read about swagbucks for some time. I am hesitant to join the bandwagon or add something new to what I already have to do everyday. BUT, this is different. You simply download the swagbucks toolbar and use it to do your searches. (you don't have to download the toolbar, but I find it helps me to remember to use it.) I have instructed my whole family to use it when using the computer (1 account per household). In 2 days I have earned 11 "bucks". Now, what do you do with these "bucks"? You save them up and then trade them in for gift cards to places like Amazon.com or Starbucks. So, if you are interested, please sign up by clicking on the link below. By signing up under me, you help me earn more points. Let me know in the comments if you have used swag bucks or if you sign up!!

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=407606

Thanks,
Mrs. M

Writing

I started a novel about a month ago. I have thought about doing this for a long time, but never put pen to paper so to speak. So this idea came into my head and I actually sat down and started writing. It was an amazing feeling. The words just poured out of my head, it was really thrilling. I could hear the main character speaking to me. (not like God or anything weird) She even made different choices as the story moved along than I had planned. Then it just stopped. No voices, no writing, no words. I want to blame it on the other "voices" in my head. Other priorities took prominence over the novel. I am seeking to find a way to write. I need quiet. I need order. I went to hear a author speak and she said she had writing pajamas. When she was in those pjs, it sent a signal to her brain that it was writing time. But how is that any different from any other time of the day for me??? Ha! Just kidding. I may try to go to the beach by myself and see if I can jumpstart the story again. I hear once you really get going, you just can't stop. We'll see...
Until next time,
Mrs. M

March

It is March. It is March and there is snow on the ground. Now, in the north, northeast, I realize that this is not such a big deal. In the south, this is BIG news! It was predicted we might get as much as 6 inches, but luckily it was more like 2 inches. It is pretty, I do love snow, but I had turned my attention to spring. My bulbs are sprouting, Forsythia is blooming and baseball starts this week. So, how can it snow????? Oh well. It did and here we are.

I have been busy clawing myself out of the doldrums for the past 3 weeks (probably why spring is sooo appealing). I have typed up daily chores. I have planned menus for the month. I have started a new plan for recording money and working on a new attitude for money. I feel I am being active and have thrown off the cloak of victim. I hope to keep it up!

Part of my new routine is to write more. So I hope to see you again here real soon,
Mrs. M

Healing

Last Friday started a week from hell. My soul, my psyche, and my heart would take a beating by Thursday. Blows came from all directions. Blows from teens and friends. I was finally pushed over the edge and Thursday I spent freefalling into the abyss. I wallowed. Yes, I did. I allowed myself that luxury. You know sometimes, I think we have to wallow around in the pain and self-pity to begin the healing process. So, I wallowed. Friday I declared as a day of pleasing myself and Mr. M. We deserved it as it was not only me who had been hit, but Mr. M as well. We took our time and did what we wanted that morning (other than driving Missy to school), I watched a movie, knitted, played Scramble on Facebook. Mr. M took a bath, read, watched a video. We had lunch here at home and decided to go to a movie. It was then that Mr. M had a brilliant idea (have I mentioned how Mr. M is a genius and how I am so in love with him?) we would splurge and go to dinner and a movie and pay FULL PRICE!!! OMG! That doesn't happen in our household much. But he declared that if ever there was a time we needed to splurge, it was now. So Mr. M and Buddy took me to dinner and a movie. It was nice to sit between the 2 men in my life. We went to see Slumdog Millionaire. If you have not seen this movie, RUN do not WALK to the nearest theater and see it immediately. It is incredible! Then I came home quit struggling to read a book I wasn't really in to and began a new exciting book and was asleep by 10:00.

I feel so refreshed this morning. It is like a new week, oh! It is a new week. The temp is supposed to rise to 70 today and I am going to get out and enjoy it, after I get through the mound of laundry that piled up during the week from hell.

Thank you my friends for your kind words, and your deep concern for me this week.

Until next time,
Mrs. M

A Heavy Heart

As a child I used to envision my dad tied to a totem pole with Indians (sorry, but that is what I called them when I was 4) dancing around him (much like in the cartoons of the 60's), when he would be unable to come home for lunch because he was "tied up". Now as I read the title and realize that is the correct description of my heart right now, I envision my heart so full of pain and sorrow that it actually weighs more.

Sometimes I wonder how much pain and sorrow can fit in a heart. Does the heart just keep expanding to accommodate more and more pain? Or is there a release valve that eventually lets some pain escape to make room for more? Is there a breaking point? Can the heart truly break?

I am not sure of the answers and not really sure it matters. My reality right now is that I am in a place of sorrow.

I was recently introduced to the artist - Christine Kane. She is a musician from Asheville, North Carolina. I really love her soothing style. She has some very funny songs and some really deep songs. The one that comes to mind right now is "I'm With You" Click here to find it to listen to if you would rather.

"In the streetlight
Out from under shadows
I am waiting for you
Among the ashes
And the broken arrows
There are pieces of truth
After all is said and done
And there's nowhere left to run
I'm with you
I'm with you
I have wondered
When the mystery will end
And what the answers reveal
But I am learning now
It's less about the answers
And more about how we heal
When all the awful of your past
Brings you to this place at last
I'm with you
I'm with you
What would happen
In the time it takes your hand
To reach out and beyond
To touch the twilight
Feel the warmth of firelight
Turn a stone in your palm
I can't make this world be kind
But you can put your hand in mine"

This has so many meanings to me. It completely depends on where I am on my journey when I hear it. Today it is a two-fold meaning.

First, my God is with me. Even though I am hurting so bad and feel that nothing is going right and that I am the worst mom in the world, the worst friend in the world, the worst person in the world, God is with me. She is right there. All I have to do is lean and She will hold me up. I simply hold out my hand and put it in hers.

Second, is my feeling for my children. I want them to know that I am right here. I will be here for them whenever they need me. When every where in their life feels unsafe or insecure, I am here. I won't try to "fix" it, I will simply be here and help the healing. My hand is reaching out.

So, as I love my children, so am I loved. It is in this that the release valve is activated and the heart feels less heavy, still sore, still sorrowful, but a little less.

Until next time,
Mrs. M

Bloggie Giveaways - A FLIP CAMERA

I just found a new blog. This one is perfect for me! It is A Cowboy's Wife. She is currently giving away a Flip Camera. Have I ever mentioned how much I would LOVE to have a Flip Camera???? They are amazing. I just can't afford one right now. But think of all the ways you could use it! I could have it in my purse so when Missy and her friends are doing something funny...BAM! I could video it! If Buddy is pitching....BAM! I could video!! Oh boy, cross your fingers and hope I win!!!

Addictions

Hi, my name is Mrs. M, and I am a Facebook addict. Yes, I said it out loud. I am addicted. I love seeing what my friends and family are doing. But here is where the real addiction comes into play. I am addicted to playing Scramble live. Oh I can rationalize, it is helping my brain. I have noticed that my memory is not the greatest lately and with Alzheimer's in my genes, I need to do some kind of word puzzles every day to keep it sharp, right? Well, this is my drug of choice. You are saying but most addictions you do in private, well, I push the button that says I am offline, so nobody can bother me!!! SEE!!! I have a problem!!! Is there Scramble Anonymous for people like me? Cause let me tell you, LOTS of people are on playing this game. In the room that I frequent there are at least 30-50 players every time I go in, no matter the time of day. Oh! The other indication that this has become an addiction? I think of words all the time. SERIOUSLY! I start with one word and think of other words with those letters. It is starting to ruin my life!!!

Until next time, you can find me over on fb playing Scramble!
Mrs. M