Monday, August 17, 2009

Time, Aging, Freedom

Missy starts high school today. Well, technically it is an orientation day, but it counts as a day of school. So we will all go together and learn more about the school and pay money. This means I am a mom of 2 high schoolers. This means I am officially middle aged. I am pondering that this morning as I lallygag and put off getting up and started on my day.

I remember looking at the parents for whom I babysat and thinking, wow, you are an adult. You are old. Now, I realize they were looking at me thinking, wow, I still feel your age, how did I get here? I have that feeling at times when dealing with my teenagers. I have to remember that even though I have been there, done that. They have not. This is all new to them. And it feels original, even though it SOOOO is not. I want to be understanding and not condescending. I want to be open. But sometimes I get so angry. I am not very patient with the adolescent behavior.

But back to me, for let's get real, this is really all about me. I feel like I am at an interesting place in my life. I can now see in the not so very far off future, a time when it is just me and Mr. M here at the house. I see a time with more freedom for us. I see a time when my days will truly be more about me. I will no longer have to schedule my "doings" around my kids' schedules. How exciting! I am beginning to think about how I will fill my days. What activities do I want to be engaged in? What things can I go ahead and begin now? Art lessons? Pottery lessons? Tutoring? Story time at the library? I am not sure. I hope to spend this year exploring possibilities. It is exciting. I no longer feel like I am in a holding pattern. This is Buddy's last year and honestly his schedule is the one that drives the family. When he is gone, Missy's schedule is much more laid back. I will actually be able to begin thinking about my days as MY days.

Of course, there is one obstacle. That is my health. But that has been an obstacle for over 25 years now. So...except of course, every year it gets worse. So......enough! Don't really want to go into that right now. I feel pretty good today. I want to enjoy that. I will deal with the other later today when the energy is all gone like around 2!!! Ha!!!

So it's Monday, a new day, a new week...what new things are going on in your life? What new things are in your horizon? Share!

Till next week,
Mrs. M

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