Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Holidays

My cold turned into a sinus infection! But Wednesday I got a strong antibiotic and after a nap on Thursday woke up feeling human again. How nice. Luckily Mr. M went shopping with me yesterday and we finished up the purchasing. We are having a very thrifty Christmas. I am very proud of the deals I have found! Maybe later I will post more on that. Don't want to spoil any secrets!!!

My heart is full these days. It feels just when I get my head and heart around being a mom to a teenage girl, something gets out of whack. My head knows that this is all normal. I know that Missy is trying to seperate herself from me and is trying her hand at being independent from her family. I know that it must be really hard for her, because we do have a pretty good friendship and have lots in common. I realize there is a deep dependency on me whether she acknowledges it or not. I KNOW all of this. But my heart still hurts. When I see her in pain and know that she really wants me to try to make it all better, but at the same time REALLY does NOT want me to try to make it all better, I hurt for her. What a hard place to live. When I wake in a really good mood only to be hit by her negativity, it is more than I can take at times. It hurts my heart. You see my head and my heart just aren't in this together.

So, here we are in this Christmas season, or advent as I wrote about earlier. A season of expectancy. For me, I am waiting for the healing that I know will come between me and Missy. I will pray for hope to be first and foremost in my life.
I will pray for peace to settle in my heart.
I will pray for joy to find its way into our lives this Christmas.
I will pray that love will conquer all.

Happy Holidays to everyone!
Till next time,
Mrs. M.

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