A Year in Review

As I look back over this year, I realize how truly blessed I am. I reunited with my dear college friend, I got to spend Thanksgiving with my family, I started a new blog, and I watched my children evolve into teenager/adults. It has been a good year.

What do I wish for the new year? Peace. Of course in the world, in our country, in my state, in my city, in my home, but mostly in my heart. I hope that I can live in the now and enjoy 2009 to the fullest, not looking back or looking forward.

I will leave you with the same wish that you will find peace in 2009.

Until next year!
Mrs. M

Downtime

Downtime is such a wonderful thing. I love the pace of our lives right now. There is absolutely nothing that NEEDS to be done. (especially since we did laundry on Friday) We are free to sleep late, go to bed late, read all day, watch TV all day. We are on our own timetable. It is peaceful. This is the time each year when we usually go to the beach. It is the only week of the year in which everyone in our family is free. We spend this time rejuvenating ourselves and our ties with family. This year, as I think I have mentioned, the beach house we go to is under renovation. Actually it is torn down and a new one is being built in its place. So we are staying home. The problem is that all of Missy and Buddy's friends have also stayed home this year. So we have barely seen Buddy. Missy has been around a bit more, but Buddy is rarely here. We are rejuvenating ourselves this year, but not our ties with each other. As the time for Buddy to leave us gets closer and closer, I am treasuring each moment with him.

Next year we are going to the beach come hell or high water!!!

Till next time,
Mrs. M

MERRY CHRISTMAS?

First of all, I and all the M's wish you a very merry Christmas!! I hope your day is bright and filled with peace.

I must write this before I lose it. I will need to reread this over and over again I fear. This morning was a bit difficult. Just a bit ago, as Mr. M and I were talking he said, "You know the worst part of the morning for me was watching you watch Missy. The disappointment was all over your face as she failed to appreciate each gift she was given." He went on to say that our kids are in the transition period. They can still vividly remember the magic of Christmas morning from when they were little but now, that magic eludes them. Thus there is a sense of loss.

Transition. That is a word that I do not like to hear or deal with. Since I read the book Raising a Spirited Child 6 years ago, I recognize inside me a spirited child. This simply means I feel more, I love more, I hate more. In other words I feel intensely. I would say that I am probably at 5x the normal person. Spirited people don't deal well or easily with transition because it is hard to shift gears when going at such high speeds. With time, maturity and practice we get better, but never truly master it. So by saying my children are going through a transition time, means so am I. I had to transition myself from the magic of my childhood to adulthood at Christmas, but then I got to experience it again through my children's eyes. Now as they transition out of this time, again, I need to do the same. But since I am more mature now, and older, and had more practice, it is a bit easier. It is hard to face the realities of my world. But I set my eyes on the now. I have a happy, healthy family who love me. We have a home, food on our table and plenty of love.

I must run now and get the dinner on the table. We will start a new tradition today, going to a movie as a family. As we transition, we will look for new ways to remember that family is where the magic is.

Until next time,
Mrs. M

Later That Day

After I posted on Saturday, I spent the day being pampered by my friends. These moms are "parent" friends. Our daughters all hang out together. We have all become close recently and just at the right time in our lives. Anyway, we went to lunch, then a movie, then Barnes and Noble for browsing and coffee. We then came back to my house where elves disguised as my Missy and her friends - JoJo, Abs, Meredith, and KoKo (made up names of course), had cleaned my house, baked a cake and prepared dinner!!!! On top of everything they had each made me cards. It was so interesting to see the cards and how they matched each girls' personalities. So after dinner we read cards and I opened a present from Missy. It was a photo album, the slip in photo kind. The title page said, The Top Ten Reasons I Love My Mom. It continued to list reasons and had cooresponding photos to go with it. I wept. One of the things that made it so touching was that she named the exact things that I have been so sad about. She named it. She knows. And she was thanking me for sticking with her. I will cling to that album. I will peruse it often over the next few years. I will stick by her side no matter what, and I will know that somewhere deep inside her heart, she knows I am here and is grateful.

Happy Holidays and until next time,
Mrs. M

The Holidays

My cold turned into a sinus infection! But Wednesday I got a strong antibiotic and after a nap on Thursday woke up feeling human again. How nice. Luckily Mr. M went shopping with me yesterday and we finished up the purchasing. We are having a very thrifty Christmas. I am very proud of the deals I have found! Maybe later I will post more on that. Don't want to spoil any secrets!!!

My heart is full these days. It feels just when I get my head and heart around being a mom to a teenage girl, something gets out of whack. My head knows that this is all normal. I know that Missy is trying to seperate herself from me and is trying her hand at being independent from her family. I know that it must be really hard for her, because we do have a pretty good friendship and have lots in common. I realize there is a deep dependency on me whether she acknowledges it or not. I KNOW all of this. But my heart still hurts. When I see her in pain and know that she really wants me to try to make it all better, but at the same time REALLY does NOT want me to try to make it all better, I hurt for her. What a hard place to live. When I wake in a really good mood only to be hit by her negativity, it is more than I can take at times. It hurts my heart. You see my head and my heart just aren't in this together.

So, here we are in this Christmas season, or advent as I wrote about earlier. A season of expectancy. For me, I am waiting for the healing that I know will come between me and Missy. I will pray for hope to be first and foremost in my life.
I will pray for peace to settle in my heart.
I will pray for joy to find its way into our lives this Christmas.
I will pray that love will conquer all.

Happy Holidays to everyone!
Till next time,
Mrs. M.

So many things to talk about, yet so little energy. I am struggling with a cold that just won't go away. It is now traveling done to my chest. ARGHHH!! So, let's just begin.

Here are some photos of my my trip during Thanksgiving. I had such a good time with my friend, M. She is such a hoot.

I tried to teach her to knit.....well....the photo speaks for itself!!!

We went out to eat with my suite mate and roommate from college. They are sooo much fun!! I never realized how much I missed them!!

When I start feeling better I will do the video. But it is too cold and I feel too awful at night. So, the video will have to wait.

Sorry this is so choppy. But that is the best I can do.

Till next time,

Mrs. M.

Knitting

I have new socks on the needles. I need to finish one more booty for my friend's baby (he will be born on Friday!!!). And I am thinking about trying to knit a penguin for one of Missy's Christmas gifts. What am I doing on the computer???? I must get moving.

I am hoping to show you all a video of my house, lights and the neighbors lights. Stay tuned....

Till next time,
Mrs. M